What's On My Mind Fridays

The "I am going to tell you how I feel" edition

In a world where we are consuming the horrors of every day life, why not consume the horrors that occupy my mind this week? (Also, the fact that I've had to defend Kimmel and now Comey, I hate it here). My mind has been all over the place but I will only give you three things this Friday if not it would be about twenty and nobody has time for that. I do want to say I still owe you my newsletter on Shelton, I've just had a busy week so I have been unable to give that newsletter the proper time and attention. I didn't want to rush, but do expect that early next week. And with that... here are my three things on my mind this Friday:

Only Murders in the Building

Season five is back! I think there are four episodes or five episodes available on Hulu. I have always loved this show, and I was rooting for Martin Short at the Emmys this year. It's just a fun and silly show but I cannot believe I am saying this: Make season five the final season. How many more murders can we have in this building? Honestly, I want there to be more murders, because that's not the real issue I am having with the show. The show's dedication to bringing on every celebrity guest star for the past three seasons has been exhausting. At one point, we saw a cameo from Amy Schumer and that was a jump scare and I think that was Season Two and I never want to see that kind of stunt casting/horror again. You guys should also know I am a Meryl Streep fan but she doesn't need to come back and I don't need Martin Short's character married to her (though I love them together in real life). Last season was so messy with SO many guest stars and I really want to keep it to the season one/season two (minus Amy Schumer) magic. You know how The Good Place ended on a high? They just knew when to end? I don't think Only Murders has figured that out yet but if they must, because I am sure they are being picked up for a sixth season, please end it there.

Speaking My Mind

I want to preface this with saying that I will always tell things how I see it. If you follow me on any socials, I don't exactly hide my thoughts, affiliations or my views on current events. There are certain socials that I am less direct on because of who is following or friends with me on that particular social site (I don't need my mom yelling at me!) or because some of y'all are insane and trying to get people fired, I will be vague or really won't make comments on certain current events. But under absolutely no circumstances will you make aspersions on my character or tell me what I am thinking. Let's get that out of the way real quick. I try to be respectful in a public setting but as the old saying goes "don't start none, won't be none" and Michelle Obama told us to go high when they go low, but I am not Michelle Obama. I will take it straight to hell. Also, in the words at Beyonce's concert "God is Good, I am not" and I have never felt something so deeply in my bones and I don't even believe in God! Watch how you talk to me and move around me because I don't forget either. I say this without any vague posting. This is just what social media does and I want to nip it in the bud. Don't talk to me on socials if you can't talk to me like that to my face. Too many people get cute on social media because they get to hide behind a screen. I do not work that way. Don't ever feel like you can disrespect me in text because you wouldn't have the gall to do it to my face. Also, and this has happened, if you do disrespect me to my face and think you can joke about it in real life, absolutely not. I heard you loud and clear.

And with that... carry on. Respectfully.

Pinocchio

Once again, I watched another Disney animated film and I watched this twice. I won't get into it too much BUT I will say my favorite part of watching this film is when Seth decided to watch the last thirty minutes with me when Honest John was gathering the boys and sending them to Pleasure Island and Seth, who has not seen this film probably since he was a child so let's be generous and say he hasn't seen it in thirty five years and remembers zero, goes "oh my god, they're going to Epstein Island? What is this movie!?" and I said "Do you really think a movie from 1940 is going to mention Epstein Island?" and here we are. Pinocchio has never been my favorite Disney film mostly because I think Pinocchio sucks and Geppetto crying over a wayward puppet was silly. However, his cat and goldfish, Figaro and Cleo were my absolute favorites. Disney had released short animated cartoons on these two and they were also my favorite as they had a Tom and Jerry vibe. My favorite part of the film is the beginning with the animation of all the cuckoo clocks which I thought was mesmerizing. It was definitely worth watching again (I watched this movie twice) and here are a couple of thoughts I had besides Figaro and Cleo being the best two characters in the film:

Jiminy Cricket is the worst conscious imaginable, extremely useless, but has a great song.

Geppetto has too many damn cuckoo clocks and he needs to sell them. Also, getting swallowed up by a whale with your pets because your wooden puppet you knew for less than twenty four hours went missing? Sir. Put up Lost and Found posters. What are we doing? Also, have you been so busy making clocks and being a cat dad that you never made time for a wife? So you made a puppet son? With a dumb name? Couldn't be me.

Pleasure Island is probably one of the more scary events in any Disney film. Turning boys into donkeys, sending them to salt mines and you never hear about it again. The boy Alexander who can still talk crying for his mom? The horror of that scene and watching it as a kid! Honest John is truly one of the more underrated evil villains.

Leave Monstro alone. He isn't even the villain in this story. It's not his fault Geppetto went out to sea (also, WHY did he go out to sea? They never explain that). Also, if you start a fire in my belly, of course I am going to be mad and want to murder your ass. Leave the whale out of your shenanigans! Minding his own business, terrorizing the SEA, you Geppetto and Pinocchio tried to burn his ass. Terrible! Justice for Monstro!

And that is it for your three things on my mind this week. Tune in next week for my Shelton review plus some pop culture I have been consuming that isn't a Disney animated film.

Editor's Note: The actual quote is "God is God, I am Not" but I like my paraphrase better so it stays. Thanks for the inspiration, Queen Bey!